I don’t even know where to start, but I just feel like we’re being tricked.
Like, somewhere along the line, someone convinced everyone that happiness comes from these big things — the new car, the trip, the kitchen remodel, the stupid all-inclusive that’s gonna “fix everything.”
Like, once that Mexico trip comes, then the relationship’s gonna be better, right?
You just need to sit on the beach and have a few drinks and then it’ll all be fine.
But, no. That's a load of crap.
It’s a lie.
And it’s making people miserable.
I’ve had my fair share of relationships — more than my fair share, honestly — and I’ve repeated lessons more times than I needed to. But maybe that’s what made me see it clearly now: relationships don’t blow up over one big thing.
They rot slowly, one tiny thing at a time.
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It’s the Little Things
It’s the chicken left in the freezer.
It’s saying you’ll grab milk and not grabbing the milk.
It’s leaving your mess for someone else.
It’s the smallest shit.
But the thing is, it’s not about the chicken, or the milk, or the mess — it’s about what it means.
It means, “I don’t care enough to follow through.”
It means, “You can’t count on me.”
It means, “I wasn’t thinking of you.”
And maybe you didn’t mean it that way — most of us don’t.
You’re not trying to hurt the person you love. You’re just tired, distracted, rushing through life, doing what you always do. But your actions still speak louder than your intentions. And over time, those tiny moments start to sound like, “you don’t matter.”
And those little things? They add up.
They pile on until someone snaps — not because of the chicken, but because of all the chickens that never got pulled out.
You can survive the big stuff — betrayal, distance, loss — if the small stuff has built you strong.
But if the little things have chipped away at the foundation, even one more unpulled chicken can break it.
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We Forgot We’re on the Same Team
Somewhere along the way, everyone started acting like they’re against each other instead of with each other.
Couples keeping score. Friends nitpicking each other.
Like we’re in competition for who does more, who’s right, who’s tired.
It’s exhausting.
And I swear, it started when the world started dividing us — when we were told to turn on each other, report each other, stay away from each other. That energy snuck right into our homes.
Now everyone’s walking around guarded, ready to defend instead of connect.
But we’re supposed to be a team.
We’re supposed to have each other’s backs.
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> 💬 “We’re not opponents. We’re partners. Act like it.”
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The Masculine + The Feminine (and the Damn Chicken Again)
And okay, I need to say this — because I hear it all the time.
Women saying men aren’t masculine anymore.
Men saying women are too independent and don’t need them.
But that’s exactly what I’m talking about. That’s the cycle.
It’s really hard for a woman to stay soft and feminine and open when she’s constantly disappointed — when she’s asking for help and can’t even count on you to pull out the fucking chicken.
It’s really hard to trust someone to lead when you can’t trust them to show up.
And it’s just as hard for a man to want to lead when every single thing he does is met with criticism.
When nothing’s good enough.
When the thank-yous dry up and all that’s left are sighs and eye rolls.
We both want the same damn thing — love, peace, connection, safety — but we’re so busy proving a point that we forgot we’re actually on the same side.
Be kind to each other. That’s it.
That’s literally it.
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Gratitude Is the Game Changer
Me and Clay — we say thank you to each other a lot.
Probably to the point where people would find it annoying.
He did the dishes while I was sleeping the other day.
Did he dirty them too? Yeah.
But I still said thank you. Because it’s not his job. It’s something he did out of care.
And that’s what love is — care.
It’s gratitude.
It’s noticing.
When you start saying thank you more, you start realizing how much there actually is to be thankful for.
You start seeing your person differently.
The resentment fades a little. The air gets lighter.
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> 💬 “Gratitude turns chores into care.”
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Decide to Be Better
And look — I get it. People get stuck in their patterns.
We hold onto our monsters. We say things like “That’s just who I am,” or “I have anxiety,” or “I can’t change.”
But you can.
The word decide literally means “to cut off from.”
When you decide, you’re cutting off every other option.
So decide.
Decide to do better.
Decide to say thank you.
Decide to clean up your mess.
Decide to love better.
Because that’s what changes everything.
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Make Home a Good Place Again
The world’s a bit of a circus right now — loud, divided, crazy.
But inside your home, you can make something different.
You can make it good again.
You can make it peaceful, safe, connected — if you just…
Pull out the chicken when you’re asked to.
Clean up your crap.
Say thank you.
And for the love of everything holy — be nice to each other.
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And if this is you — if you’re reading this and recognizing your relationship — talk to your partner.
Decide together that from this day forward, you’re going to try harder.
Speak kinder.
Pay attention more.
And pull out the damn chicken when you say you will.
Forget the past. What’s done is done.
But decide together what you want next.
Because life is sweeter together and the grass is greenest where you water it.
End Note:
If you felt this — share it with someone you love.
We’re all just trying to figure it out — maybe it starts with a little more kindness, and a little less competition.